It was billed as a wee jaunty romp across the southwest to the Heritage Lands that were once Old Mejico, but the dark side was obvious before too long. Hundreds of Mexican gang members had been offered amnesty to "encourage" whole communities to take a vacation in the El Nueva Tejas
Nation guards men were brought on to keep the stragglers moving along. Entire Highways were closed to allow the burrito brigade unfettered passage southward. The George W. BUSH honorary National Guard brigade although they'd plead to take the lead and clear the inevitable brush and trees that might impede the Billion Burro Brigades progress southward, there numbers had dwindled after the photo shoot and the following days champagne brunch.
Ultimately being replaced by the Al Gore formidable Truth Division of the inconvenient incidence ISOC.
Senator Cruz, warned his friend to stay out of sight, and in a week or two he would see what might be done. Maximo pleaded with his eyes for crucial help into the receding tail lights of the limousine.
Each night festivities and competitions were held and serious if not significant cash prizes were awarded EACH TIME in freshly minted Mexican pesos. (Although the Mexican Government had outsourced their federal mint to Chinese Mining and Ore processing facilities in central Africa.
The New Disney Borderline Ballet and carnival opened with glowing reviews in every paper across the land. With patronas y sus ninjos y ninas participadente.
It was joked that the Mexican Government's printing plants were rolling out more pesos than Taco Belle has lawsuits, if that's even possible. But the joke was on the Chinese smelting factory workers, because in streamlining the work processes [to cut costs, safety be damned] crucial off gassing steps were advertently even gleefully omitted. Which resulted in high turnover rates and higher body count in many of those very Chinese plants.
Daytime tv hostesses and the occasional hosts in a whose who cavalcade of inter natural media stars. They would take turns riding along beside Salsa Sarah as she was "politely" known, listening to her beauty tips and skin secrets and the latest shenanigans of Todd and that rambunctious brood of hers. All of who would join her from time to time on this joyous holiday of a prairie Pasteur paradise. As we follow this ten thousand burro bandito barrio buster to its ultimate resolution and reward.
After a particularly testy meeting in Ultimate Solution land Senator Cruz was verbally assaulted by his two companeros. Why had he not joined the call to blackball little Lyndsey, had he lost his taste for blood. Later as he followed his aides back to the limo Maximo lept to Sen Cruz's feet to plead for food and shelter for his family. Are you INSANE? I have enacted world changing anti immigrant legislation and your asking me to forget my crusade. You are godfather to my twins castor and Pollux? Won't you just help them and little Marianna?
As families were encouraged with per diem and a free burro for each riding family member and a two wheeled cart freely provided for each eight family members or two seniors.
And as was widely reported a variety of clergy were ENCOURAGED to accompany their flock, some through travel vouchers and portable church wagons others required a little more than applied stress persuasion techniques perfected in that temple to the humane art of extreme persuasion Guantanamo on the Bay Resort and Rehabilitation SPA.
The burro bearing Salsa Sarah, had developed quite the reputation. With that saucy tongue of hers and those dynamite children vying in that school contest to pick out a name for her sweet little fuzzy headed burro.
The evening of the Inaugural Balls
There was a clandestine meeting in private club in Palm Springs so exclusive it had no actual address and no publically available phone number. Out behind the golf clubhouse was a small meeting room known to only two staff members that the four clergymen met to down their antique port.
In the depth of the paneled meeting room lit only by the deep blue lamp on the table the tallest cleric said: "Are you going to tell him or am I."
The tone was flat but implacable.
There was a disturbance in the cool near dark of this Clandestine MeetUp. A crooked finger jabbed the air! "Maybe they can hire enough militia to herd the Hispanics toward the border and just like an old west roundup" (sponsored by Monsanto). That's right, the slight figure gently modded." Monsanto now owns BLACK WATER, out right."
The third figure spoke and another reedy voice is heard - "And then ol' Mitt can ride out ahead with our "cowgirl from Moosejaw". Then Mittsy can explain to all those trouble makers and drug dealers and criminal types (we know who they are) that they should voluntarily relocate back South of the Border.
The last guest to weigh in, the once stony still and formerly silent listener, closed the conversation this way; "either the Piñata ? Or the Platter"
It might just work out great, like India & Pakistan or Serbia and everybody else. It could become.... a made for TV event, maybe even a MOVIE of the WEEK. In the deep dusty past President Andy (ol Hickory) Jackson had his Trail of Tears. Donald and Mittsy can have their Trail of Tacos. It should unite the country maybe as much as a hot fresh and ever glorious war.
In town centers across the land, they'll set out giant plates of beans and beef, chicken and pork later adding taco sauce, and at the prompting of animal rights groups, various vegetables adding onions, peppers, tomate and worker friendly gluten free lettuce. It came to him in a dream he'd later tell the staff myth makers. He described it this way, he saw Sarah Palin astride a burro, leading a mighty mass migration of Hispanics in a ranch style round up and religious revival experience that would rapidly repatriate them in their homeland of Mexico, from a giant launching platform based in neuvo Laredo and then ultimately New Tejas.
He'd seen it all in his dream, a literal roadmap, a highway drawn in burrito fixings from the heartland to the homeland. He'd seen it clear as day with his mind's unblinking eye. He saw a trail of tacos extending from California , Chicago, Cincinnati, Cicero and Cheyene each with a Palin and a Card-daskian at the lead of this Mexicale Marathon-ita culminating south of the bordero.
Imagine he said, a roadway paved in... "the trail of tacos" is exactly what they say it is. The way it was UNpopularly known. End Part 2